Are you a busy parent or family member plagued with Christmas stress each year? Are you feeling tense because you are trying to make it the most magical time for your family? You are not alone.
There is so much to do during the holiday season. There is always new, trending ways to make it bigger and “better”. More is not always better. More is more and you don’t have to buy into that. Christmastime does not need to be more stressful than it already is.
This post is all about the 7 most common sources of Christmas stress. You will also read about 20+ easy and effective ways to avoid and resolve your stress.
This is your year to take back your peace this holiday season.
Sources of Christmas Stress
Below are 7 of the most common sources of Christmas stress and 20+ strategies to avoid them.
1. Finances
Problem
Preparing for Christmas can be extremely costly. From the gifts to the decorations, activities, food, and everything in between, it is the time of year you will likely spend the most money. It’s fun to do it big, but not worth going into debt over.
Solutions
Ideally, you will set a budgeted amount to spend and work toward saving up throughout the year. This is not always feasible, so here are a few other ideas.
Have you heard of the 4-gift rule? Try instituting it this year to help control overspending on your family, especially the kids. The way it works: get something they want, something they need, something to wear, and something to read totaling 4, meaningful and intentional gifts.
Get your family on the same page to only buy gifts for the children. If you do want to get each other gifts, organize a secret Santa with them. This way the amount is preset and you only have to buy one gift. In general, try to simplify how you approach the holidays.
If possible, shop early and shop sales or promotions to get the biggest bang for your buck.
2. Influenced Expectations
Problem
Social media is a highlight reel of perfectly curated and controlled content. Christmas is portrayed idealistically without mention of all the stresses behind the scenes. This is not real life.
Solutions
Stop comparing what your Christmastime looks like to others. Easier said than done, but it may be best to take a break from social media. Instead, spend your time making real connections with your loved ones. You will likely find your Christmas stress levels lower.
You don’t have to prove how much you love your family to anyone other than them.
Things that not measure how great of a person you are or how much you love your family:
- The number of Christmas trees you have
- How perfect your Christmas card came out
- If it went out on time
- How perfectly decorated your home is inside and out
- The number of gifts you are giving your kids
So, instead of worrying and comparing yourself, do what brings you and your family joy while staying within your means.
3. Family Tension
Problem
Family can be a major source of your Christmas stress. Whether it’s with your own family, in-laws, co-parents, or blended families, it’s pretty difficult to keep everyone happy.
Solutions
Set boundaries with family members on what is acceptable for you and your family. This can be anything to maintain your peace and mental health.
Examples of Boundaries:
- Asking family members not to force your children to give the physical affection.
- Setting expectations on how much time you and your family will be spending with them. You may have other commitments or simply want time with your family alone during the holidays.
- Giving a limit on how much to spend on gifts or what types of gifts are preferred. It can be uncomfortable if family members spend a massive amount on gifts if you cannot do the same. You also probably don’t want them to waste their money on something your family won’t use or appreciate. Like more toys when your house is already overflowing and would prefer books or experiences instead.
Communicate your expectations as far in advance as possible to reduce any shock or push back.
If your family has to go multiple places on Christmas Eve and/or Christmas Day, consider celebrating on another day. It doesn’t have to be a negative thing. This way you can be fully present with those family members that day rather than rushing off somewhere else.
Demonstrate understanding of your family members’ concerns and requests. Ultimately, you make the decisions on behalf of your family. This may not align with what extended family wants, but simply acknowledging where they are coming from can help diffuse some of the tension.
4. Time
Problem
Christmas in July used to be a way to bring Christmas cheer a second time in the year. Now there is pressure to start preparing for Christmas earlier and earlier each year. It’s exacerbated when you see Christmas tress and life size toy soldiers for sale when it’s still summertime. It can also feel like there is never enough time to do everything you want.
Solutions
Slow down and allow yourself to embrace each season and holiday. Do not feel pressured to start Christmas prep in August just because Christmas things are for sale. Take your time back and simplify things so you also get to enjoy the holiday season.
Create a bucket list for your family. Instead of leaving your plans open-ended during the holidays, make an intentional list of things to do. That way, you know what are everyone’s must do activities and can set reasonable expectations.
Are you looking for inspiration for your family’s Christmas bucket list this year? Check out The Best Christmas Bucket List for Families – 91 Ideas
5. Resident Magic Maker
Problem
As a parent, you automatically take on the task of creating holiday magic and making core memories possible. This can be very overwhelming. It can also rob you from experiencing your own Christmas joy.
Solutions
Delegate tasks to other family members or, if you’re able to, enlist the help of professionals.
Do you have a fear of heights or simply do not want to put up Christmas lights? Hire a lighting company. Is wrapping gifts your least favorite holiday activity? Utilize gift wrapping services or offer to pay someone who does enjoy it to do it for you. By not being responsible for all the tasks on your Christmas to do list, your Christmas-induced stress will decrease. That will free up your time to enjoy Christmastime more fully.
6. Loss and Change
Problem
Christmas is centered around family and it can feel impossible to enjoy that time when grieving a loss. Loss can be the absence of a passed loved one or when a family is broken up due to separation or divorce.
Solutions
Be gentle with yourself. Don’t feel guilty if you’re not as happy as you have been during the holidays in the past. After all, you’re going through a lot of change and change is hard. Give thought to ask others for help and support as you navigate your new normal.
Consider doing something different so the things you used to do together are not as emotional.
On the flip side, continue doing things as you always have if it continues to bring you joy.
Let yourself feel your emotions. It’s okay to talk about how you feel and don’t hold back for fear of being a downer. You and your feelings matter. If you don’t want to discuss it out loud, try journaling so you have an outlet for your feelings.
7. Isolation
Problem
Christmas is supposed to be a time spent with family, but can be the loneliest time for some. It’s an awful feeling to be all by yourself on a day when you’re supposed to be with loved ones. This can be due to military deployment, a job keeping you long distance, estrangement from family, or numerous other factors.
Solutions
Stay in touch any way you can connect- video chatting, mailing a card or gift, phone, or email.
Think ahead by shopping early and shipping ahead of the holiday rush. That way, you won’t be worried about whether your package will arrive on time.
Plan to do something on Christmas so you’re not home alone focusing on the fact that you are alone. If possible, try and get together with others you are located near to celebrate.
During this season of forgiving, make amends with those you are estranged from. It’s a great opportunity to give yourselves a fresh start in your relationship.
Conclusion
This post covered the most common sources of Christmas stress and shared many ways to avoid each of them. Christmas is a joyous time of year for so many reasons, but it shouldn’t leave you tense and overwhelmed. It’s possible to simplify and embrace this special time of year using the techniques shared above.
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